There are many who struggle with and against many things. In relationships and especially family or work place there are power struggles. Someone wants their idea of how things should be to win out. This is not a competition, this is your life. You do not need to compete, struggle against or push against anything. The freedom is in letting go.
The people around you have their own ideas of how a situation or thing should be. The fact of the matter is that assuming that you have control over how anyone else thinks is the first thing to change. You can scold, punish, have words with, compete with, have a lively debate with, etc. all with the intent to control someone’s actions, but that is not freedom for you or them. If you do get a person by chance to agree with you against their wishes not only will it be temporary, but the person will always be searching for a way out of the agreement. The only thing that you truly have control over are your own thoughts and feelings about a situation or thing.
If you wish to enlist the cooperation of others including your children an understanding and unconditional love of the being must be put forth. It doesn’t matter what you do you are loved, and respected for just being you. People respond to someone who cares about their well being. I am not suggesting that you pretend, I am suggesting that you stop pushing against others and start loving them for who they are. This, with the understanding that they too are doing the best that they can from their own points of view.
You can get out ahead of a situation and “decide” and “expect” a favourable outcome. This works very well. With most people, they already have a deciding factor of opposition going into a situation. They say things such as, “Yeah another bad day, but I always have a bad day when I have to deal with him/her”. As such they have just declared that they got what they expected from that person.
To give people a chance to do well and cooperate is to begin anew, with a new perspective of that person. In order to do this an understanding must take place. A look at the person’s positive side rather than what they do wrong in your opinion. This would be a good place to begin. Everyone has strengths and good points, it is important to find out what those are and focus on those, leaving their perceived weaknesses out of it completely. Do this in your head or on paper each day thinking only of that person for awhile. Doing this for a number of days prior to your interaction with them will allow for a better interaction when you do see them again. You will find things easier. The reason that this will make things better for you is because it collapses a different probability line, The person doing things that you don’t like cannot show up for you, or at least not in the way that they were before. (I will explain more on Probability in another blog.)
Whenever you push against something, anything at all, it becomes more. You in fact are lending it, whatever it is, your energy to push back against you. Notice your exhaustion after encounters of this kind. There is no need of it if you can get out ahead of it. Put your focused attention on the traits that you would like to see in a person, not the traits that you expect that disagree with you. When you attend large anti groups or push against the government the same is true. Your focused attention must be used for something that makes you feel good, you won’t like the outcome otherwise.
It may be that there is a lot of momentum built up around a specific struggle and too difficult to think in such a way that could change it. Then I would suggest leave it be completely and put your focus on something that makes you feel better. As an option you can soothe yourself by saying things such as “things are always working out for me, I’m sure we will come to terms with this in future, nothing in my life that has gone wrong has ever stayed wrong forever” and things of this nature. This will nudge your struggle into a softer place.
I am not saying a struggle won’t get you where you want to be in the end. A feeling perhaps of satisfaction for winning out. That will only get you so far, the struggle will have to continue and you may not always win. The same thing can be accomplished with no struggle or effort at all with no bad feelings on either side. If struggle is in your emotional mix the universe will give you things that cause you to have to struggle in emotional terms. Struggle and the emotions attached are usually associated with “if I don’t do this then that won’t happen, or I can’t have that, or etc…” and those are associated with fear. Fear of loss, not enough(ness) or defeat to mention a few. On a milder side of negative it is associated with frustration. However you feel about it the universe will deliver more of it. You may win out with a struggle but those emotions associated with it will become stronger in your mix, adding more of it in your reality in not just one way but in other ways.
The Sherpa in the picture makes climbing with a heavy load look easy. To him it is easy, because he has trained himself in thinking that it is. He isn’t pushing against anything. He has decided that he will carry because he does it well. It is his domain and we all have one. If this Sherpa was complaining and telling himself how hard his job was he would not be able to do it as well and some contrast would become apparent. He could push against the mountain he climbs but he doesn’t. He focuses on other than the heavy load. He knows just how to pack for ease of carrying. He thinks and envisions the climb before he starts the climb. If you can’t do something with pleasure including interacting with an other person, then its probably more fruitful not to at all.
You will know if you are struggling at all by what you are thinking and saying. Complaining is a sign of struggle. Talking to people negatively about a specific subject is struggling. There are signs if you pay attention. When you speak to a person about anything at all ask yourself how it makes you feel to talk about it. When you think about anything at all ask yourself how you feel about it. How you feel about it is going to determine your future on any subject.